The other day I ran into a friend while I was taking the kids to the park and she was going to go pick up her husband from school to take him somewhere else he needed to go. She joked that her life revolved around his schedule. Which then got me thinking how much my life seriously revolves around my own husband and kids. Since kids and vet school, my life has not been my own. I don’t get to determine basically anything for myself. I guess I pick what we eat...but even then I can’t take more than 2 bites without having to get up and help someone. That’s been weighing on my mind a lot lately and I’ve been feeling rather taken for granted and unappreciated. It’s been frustrating as I notice more and more and more how much everyone else controls my life and how little I get return. My friend Candice summed it up nicely: “[Motherhood] requires so much more inner strength, personal sacrifice and unsung effort than anything.”
The other night, after a few long weeks of Dave coming home after 9, whiny, cranky kids with eye/nose/ear infections and teething, and doing everything for all three of them because they are either unable or unwilling to do anything themselves, all these feelings came to a head and I broke down.
As I was sitting there, mourning the loss of my own life, the spirit whispered to me, “Guess who else didn’t live a life for himself?” And I suddenly realized that all this sacrifice I’m doing is actually making me more Christlike. Remember when John the Baptist died and Christ went to mourn his loss and people still followed him?
Matt 14:13 When Jesus heard of it, he departed thence by ship into a desert place apart: and when the people had heard thereof, they followed him on foot out of the cities.
Sound familiar, moms?? It might as well read: "When mom heard the fighting, she departed thence by sweat pants into a desert place: and when the children had heard thereof, they followed her on foot into the closet/pantry/bathroom."
Matt 14:14 And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward themWow. I don't know about you, but when I'm at my low points as I'm sure Christ was upon hearing about the death of his dear friend and cousin, my reaction is sometimes loud and always selfish. "Why can't I have any privacy?!" But what did Christ do? He was moved with compassion and healed their sick.
This was the whole reason Christ came to earth. He came for us, not for himself. My children need me like I need Christ. They are as dependent on me as I should be on Christ.
We are supposed to become like he is. So if any of you feel the way I've been feeling these last few weeks, don't feel lost anymore. Being a woman, a mom, or a wife, requires us to give every part of us to those around us. But it is not all for naught. We have our reward as we become Christlike through these trials.
John 15:13- Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
