Today I woke up at 4 AM. I have no idea why. Probably because I was subconsciously anxious to start this new trimester. All new students, 3 different classes, and not getting nearly as many plans done as I should have this weekend (meaning I planned one day instead of 2 weeks). I told myself if I wasn't asleep by 4:30 I was going to get up and do something productive. So of course I just got more and more awake thinking of what I could do. I was very productive for about an hour but then I had to get ready for the day. Because I was so awake the whole process happened a lot faster so I had time for scripture study before I left. I do try to do it in the mornings but sometimes I need my extra 20 min of sleep. I read a fantastic article in last month's (January 2012) Ensign by Elder D. Todd Christofferson called Recognizing God's Hand in our Daily Blessings. This might have been the real reason I was wide awake at 4 AM. In it he tells the story of his mother who survived radical cancer surgery and went through rigorous, painful radiation treatments. "She recalls that her mother taught her something during that time that has helped her ever since: "I was so sick and weak, and I said to her one day, 'Oh Mother, I can't stand having 16 more of those treatments.' She said, 'Can you go today?' 'Yes' 'Well, honey, that's all you have to do today.'
My first hour wouldn't say ANYTHING. Not a word. It was so uncomfortable and really discouraging. I ran out of stuff fast and was making up games on the spot... 2nd hour was worse. They talked... but the students were terrible! I definitely wanted to cry after that one. I'm so excited for a seating chart tomorrow! They were being so inappropriate (well just 5 boys) and totally ruined an activity I thought was going to be fun... turns out 8th graders aren't mature enough yet. 3rd... I was already feeling overwhelmed from the first two and again, people were having a hard time talking. I felt so incapable and like I was a terrible teacher. Instead of imagining what a terrible trimester it was going to be for those first 3 hours (which felt like an entire day) I just kept telling myself, "this is all you have to do today." I got through it! I had a prep, lunch, another prep, and then an amazing 6th hour! I left feeling great about classes and I'm ready to try again tomorrow!
